Stranger Things

Get it?

Things still feel kinda weird right? I mean they’ve been weird for awhile (whenever that asshole was sworn in) but there’s certain events you can’t help but go huh…why is that happening? Why you sending the national guard to Portland? Oh it’s only been like a week since the last mass shoot—just kidding. Also why is Pete Hegseth summoning like all the generals for a meeting in Virginia next week? As the kids say “It’s so sus”. However, I like those niche weird things that TikTok (Godbless it) so dutifully reports on. Apparently, the movie Snake Eyes starring Nicolas Cage and Gary Sinise is proving, once again, that time is not linear and we might have some timelines converging. I remember watching this film a long time ago but I started watching it again last night and it’s like a classic Brian De Palma film with an overacting Nic Cage and what feels like the first time ‘steadycam’ was ever used (some shots feel like you’re on a cruise ship). Anyways, there’s a lot of interesting coincidences in it. For one, the defense secretary named “Charles Kirkland” is shot in the neck during a boxing match where one of the boxer’s name is Tyler. Also the so called assassin is just a patsy.

I’ll finish the movie and let you know if anything else comes up don’t worry. Sometimes I start a movie and I’m like okay actually I’m just gonna play this slot machine game on my phone for 3 hours.

TikToks

Every year during Oktoberfest there’s this ride called Toboggon and I love watching people go on it. “The Toboggan is a historic and traditional attraction that has been at the Oktoberfest since at least 1933. The incline, which riders must walk up, moves at a speed of 10 km/h (about 6.2 mph). Successfully walking up the moving walkway is part of the challenge, as it requires proper technique.” Uhm 6.2 on a treadmill is FAST so no wonder when people try this they fall or flail around and the ride worker has to pick them up like a baby bjorn and take them to the end. It actually reminds me of the one time of two times I went snowboarding in my life, despite being born and bred in Colorado. I was in high school and went with my friend and I don’t remember taking any lessons, we just kinda got our gear and went to the mountain (no helmets either -this was 1998 people) So we get the T-Bar which is a rope pulley thing you have to hang onto and it drags you up the mountain. It looked tricky but everyone ahead of us seemed to have figured it out so I studied them so I would not fall. My friend however got to the front and grabbed the handle and started flipping and flopped everywhere. Like doing things that you thought were not physically possible. I really did my best to not laugh, despite what I was witnessing, but I dunno if I was convincing enough when I was like “you got this!” as she was slipping and slidin’. Anyways, we finally made it up the mountain and karma hit me when I was barreling down the slope and crashed into a “SLOW DOWN” sign. I was fine, thank god, but I never went snowboarding again.

Should we check in on longest jeans in the world guy?

And let’s round it out with a strutting ostrich shall we?

Gailisms

• I’m telling you Mo, become a doctor. You are smarter than smart. Or don’t it’s fine.

• The bunnies are pooping up all over. They are under the shrubs. The mother is under there too.

• I’m eating a chicken breast. I’m crazy! No I’m not.

• There’s some nice people out there. Someone paid for my lollipop at 7-11. It’s a dollar!! Bunch of crooks.

XOXO